


Goodbye Moon, goodbye Merlin, goodbye New Handler Guy John

by elletromil



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Multi, Not a dick!Chester King, Polyamory, slight crossover with James Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 07:38:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10715097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elletromil/pseuds/elletromil
Summary: All Kingsman's transmissions are overlooked by silent handlers to make sure nothing important is getting overlooked or that no one is doing anything they shouldn't be doing.Harry has always made sure to greet them, referring to them as New Handler Guy John. Little does he know that lately, he's always getting the same guy.





	Goodbye Moon, goodbye Merlin, goodbye New Handler Guy John

**Author's Note:**

> So all day yesterday I wanted to write but couldn’t bring myself to touch my keyboard/pen. Then I saw the post about [signal guy Fred](http://elletromil.tumblr.com/post/159884963313) and was hit by inspiration. I still went to bed and slept like a baby without writing a word, but this morning I just started writing the Merhartwin idea I had while reading the post and finished it in very little time.
> 
> It’s set in an alternative time-line where Eggsy did come to work at Kingsman but not as a Knight and where there is no Valentine and Chester isn’t a dick. At least so far. Don’t think I’ll write more in that particular verse but who knows.
> 
> It’s a very silly story and hopefully you’ll enjoy reading it ;) Also thanks to @insanereddragon for being a life saver by knowing exactly what post about Harry’s name I was talking about and sending me the link <3

“I am about to board the plane, I’ll see you soon.”

“Alright, see you at the debrief.”

“Goodbye Merlin, goodbye New Handler Guy John.”

Only Merlin answers, but Harry hasn’t expected anything else.

None of the new handlers assigned to the careful watching of any live transmissions from the glasses in real time has ever replied to him. Harry doesn’t take it personally. They’re busy making sure the handler on case isn’t missing on anything important or that could prove important for another mission while also making sure the agent and handler they’re watching over aren’t doing anything suspicious. It’s both a security measure and good practice for all the new handlers or punishment for the old ones that need to be put back into their places.

Considering the nature of his mission, dismantling a drug cartel, or in other word, a fun but low-risk mission, he’s pretty certain he’s been assigned one of the new guy. Harry might have no idea who, since even Merlin doesn’t know who it is. He might be head of the branch, but he still has to be accountable.

However, knowing who it is or not, Harry has always found that it doesn’t hurt to be polite.

The new handler is doing valuable work after all, even if it surely doesn’t look that way to him at the moment. Many a time, the analysts have cracked a case or been put on a new one thanks to the observations done by the silent handlers. They deserve the same respect as everyone at Kingsman.

They also have to put on with his flirting with Merlin. It doesn’t matter that Merlin rarely flirts back, damn his professionalism. They might find him amusing, but Harry and Merlin have been together for _years_. He’s self-aware enough to suspect he probably sound like the worst sap in love ever, teeth-rottingly sweet in not a good way.

They’re a good sport for not making gagging sound over the comm-line, unlike all the other Knights he goes on joint mission with.

So yes, even if he will never be able to greet them with their real names, going for the generic John, he’ll always acknowledge them.

~

Merlin isn’t on the tarmac when he comes back, which is disappointing but not surprising. He does try to come and meet him after every missions, but he’s also head of the handler department. Emergencies happen all the time.

He’s about to make his way to Arthur for his debrief nonetheless, when one of the many technicians comes running after him. He smiles when he realises who exactly is making a fast approach toward him.

“Hello Eggsy.”

The young man waves in reply, too busy catching his breath. That means he probably ran all the way from his desk to here and Harry’s hit with a wave of fondness. Silly boy.

“Hey Harry. Something’s happening on Caradoc’s mission, both Merlin and Arthur are busy with it.”

He’s grateful that Eggsy has caught up with him before he could take the train back to the shop uselessly, but he barely suppresses a snort when he realises Merlin must have sent him to warn Harry. His partner is getting soft in his old age. Not so long ago, Merlin would have purposefully make him lose his time just because he’s that kind of dick.

“What about you? Are you busy?”

“Nope, just finished my shift!”

“Heading home?” He would like to get some updates directly from Eggsy about his time at Kingsman, but he doesn’t want to keep him away from his mother and sister either.

“Actually, I was thinking of grabbing a bite.”

Harry can recognize an invitation when he hears one and he smiles warmly at the young man.

“A man after my own heart. Let’s go see what the Kitchens have for us.”

***

“Take the left Galahad, you should come to a door. The safe should be on the wall to the right, behind whatever painting Grobber will have thought fit to hide it.”

Harry doesn’t answer him with words, but he sees the hand gesture that means he’s acknowledging the direction he’s been given. It’s weird when Harry is in no position to answer him, but he’d rather have him silent than in a shoot-out because he’s been detected.

He’s not sure Harry shares his opinion, he does adore the sound of his own voice after all, maybe even more than he has survival instincts, but so far he’s behaving.

The rest of the mission is uneventful – boring –and Merlin is keenly aware that he hasn’t seen a bed in three days, that the couch in his private office is still as uncomfortable as ever for a nap and that he would kill for a cup of tea.

Those are all things he mentions to Harry, among many others, in order to keep himself focused and not put Harry in danger. And also to fill the silence on the other side of the line. He’s lost enough agents to find it chilling to the marrow of his bones.

Harry doesn’t disconnect until he’s safe in his hotel room, after he’s made a sweep of the room to make sure there aren’t any bugs, and not until he’s stood in front of the mirror to let Merlin see with his own eyes that he is truly in one piece.

“Goodbye Merlin. Goodbye New Handler Guy John.” He raises his hand towards his glasses, but before it goes dark he gives Merlin a stern look via the reflection. “Go take that cup of tea now.”

~

It had been his intention to listen to Harry’s order, but the moment he had gotten up from his chair, Isolde had required his help in order to stop Percival from blowing up an entire district. A task made even more difficult when he had realised the agent’s motives. Human trafficking is always a sensitive subject, no matter how long you’ve been in the spy business.

Once everything has calmed down and the world finds himself with fewer human traffickers than an hour ago but with just as much buildings standing in one piece, he is dumbfounded to notice he’s got a cup of tea in hands.

It’s half-finished and still warm, which means he’s been given one while dealing with Percival’s situation, but he has no clear memory of it.

Thankfully for his paranoid mind, he doesn’t have to search for the culprit for long, Eggsy toasting him silently with his own cup and a wink from the other side of the room. He rolls his eyes at his antics, but doesn’t fight the fond smile that wants to break out.

He admits he had had some reservations about transferring him from the tailor branch to the handler branch at first, if only because nothing in his background had indicated he had what it took, but he’s grateful Dagonet had hounded on him until he had accepted. Had it been only Harry, he could have ignored him easily, but the old tailor had been like a mad dog with a bone as soon as Eggsy had picked up on the fact Kingsman was more than a simple tailor shop.

But the young man has proven resourceful and no one will deny he picks up on new tasks and challenges quickly and easily. Even Arthur has mellowed out about him, admitting that if his job as a tailor had been given to him as a favor to his dead father when Eggsy had called for help after his mother had gotten pregnant and his stepfather imprisoned, his ascension through the ranks is all on his own merits.

Of course, he benefits from Harry’s friend friendship as well as his own, but the same can be said of everyone at Kingsman. Maybe not their friendship specifically, but what makes Kingsman strong is the relationships they all share. A lone wolf would never last long.

He’s just put his empty cup down when he’s called over again, this time because Bors has found himself stuck in a kindergarten of all places. Merlin is still exhausted, but the tea has taken off his murderous edge at least.

He’ll have to find a way to thank Eggsy.

***

“Hello New Handler Guy John.”

Galahad’s feed pops open on his screen, meaning he’s made it to the gala in one piece and they are both in for a few hours of really boring surveillance. Usually, he enjoys looking into Harry’s missions, even the simple ones, because he gets a glimpse into Merlin and Harry’s relationship without feeling too guilty about it.

Unfortunately, tonight’s just about recon, about identifying the players without drawing attention.

He wishes he could talk with Harry, but he knows he would be a rather poor stand-in for Merlin. Sure they are friends, but he’s smart enough not to read too much into Harry’s flirtation and Merlin’s warm looks. He might be becoming a kick-ass Excalibur, but being a hard-worker won’t make anyone fall in love with him.

Though, it did earn him Arthur’s respect this way and it turns out that when the old man stops scowling, he’s actually pretty decent.

Still even if he knows that he has no chances, he cannot stop loving them.

It’s the main reason he’s volunteered to be the silent watcher on Galahad’s feed any time they need someone, even if he’s no longer a new guy, Vivian had raised an eyebrow, but thankfully said nothing. It’s already hard enough to get people to do it, she’s not about to discourage volunteers.

It’s pathetic, he cannot pretend otherwise, but it makes him feel like he’s part of something that way. They don’t know it of course, and he doesn’t plan on them ever finding out, but at least, that way he can take care of them in small ways.

Bringing food to Merlin, making sure Harry’s equipment gets checked up in priority, taking on more work so that they have just a tiny bit more time together…

They seem much more happy lately thanks to it, which in turn makes Eggsy happier, even if it’s kind of a double edge sword. Them being happier makes them even more tactile with him for some reason and it’s getting harder to remember that he’s not part of their relationship, not in the ways he wants it. He’s just their friend.

Harry’s next comment under his breath distracts him from his thoughts, but even if it’s whispered he can hear how the words are slurred, as if he’s drunk.

It puts Eggsy on high alert because Harry isn’t supposed to play up his inebriation and he’s still on his first glass of champagne. Judging by what he said, he’s not trying to catch the attention of whoever’s watching his feed. He’s acting as if nothing’s wrong, but now that Eggsy is looking for it, he can see a slight swaying motion of the feed.

At the same moment he sees a familiar face in the crowd and he curses loudly when he recognizes Grobber, the man looking awfully gleeful as he stares at Harry.

He might be wrong and if is he’ll get shit for it, but he prefers that to whatever will happen to Harry if he’s caught by Grobber’s men after being drugged.

“Galahad, Galahad do you copy?” He forces himself to keep calm, since he has no idea what effects the drugs will have on Harry.

“New Handler Guy John?” Harry sounds very confused, but the fact he hasn’t recognizes Eggsy’s voice confirm his worst suspicions. He’s been drugged.

“It’s Excalibur actually.”

“Oh. Hello Excalibur,” the words are infused with a warmth that would give him butterflies if things weren’t so dire. “Something’s wrong… I think.”

“Yes, your cover has been compromised.”

“Shite. What do I do?” It’s only once he’s asked him that Eggsy realises that right now, he’s not just the silent handler over-looking a mission for extra precaution, but that he’s now the primary handler. He could give back the reins to Merlin, but bringing him up to date would cost them precious seconds they simply cannot waste.

“Can you walk to the buffet table?” Harry doesn’t reply vocally, but his feed show that he’s walking closer. Eggsy allows himself a moment of relief when he sees James Bond in the same spots as before, still looking like a sulking child.

MI-6 won’t be happy, but judging by how bored he looks, Bond isn’t on any high scale mission at the moment.

“Do you see Bond?”

At the name, Harry groans, but he still walks up to the other agent, without protesting. They might be too alike in some aspects to stand each other on social occasion, but they share a profound respect that allows them to work well together.

Bond doesn’t show his surprise for more than a quarter of a second and he must grasp the situation pretty quickly because he walks up to Harry with the smile of someone greeting a very dear friend.

“Hardick, old friend, I never thought I’d see you here!”

If Harry wasn’t drugged and in need of assistance, Eggsy is sure Bond would have regretted calling him by his real first name, but given the circumstances, there’s not much Harry can do.

While they try to make small talk, something made difficult by Harry’s state, and giving Eggsy a view of the room, he realises he’s no longer alone at his desk.

“No Q, I don’t know what this is about, but I’m patching you through with the one who can answer.” It sounds kind of bad for him, but if Merlin looks closed off as he stared at the scereen, the hand on his shoulder is only comforting.

Eggsy barely hears the click of a connection establishing before Q sstarts talking.

“I don’t know who you are, but this better be good.” The voice is much younger than he expected, but this stresses him more than the opposite for some reason.

“Erm… I’m Excalibur, sir. Sorry to have interrupted your own op, but Galahad’s been compromised and this is the first thing I thought of.”

“Compromised by whom?”

“Edward Grobber.” He doesn’t dare say more, but he doesn’t have to wait long before Q makes a sound of understanding, most-likely having pulled up whatever file MI-6 has on the man.

“Right… Well 007 consider yourself lucky, You’re no longer grounded. Your new mission is to bring agent Galahad back to safety. Excalibur, can I entrust my agent to your care? I’ll make sure there are no nasty surprises waiting for them from any of Grobber’ associates.”

“Yes sir. Thank you sir.”

For a moment he thinks Merlin will take his place, but after a squeeze of his shoulder, he goes back to his own desk, undoubtedly to call an extraction team for the two agents.

“Do you copy Bond?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Right now, you’re both on your own, on what we’ll assume to be enemy territory. I need you to put as much distance between you and Grobber. Fat man in a white suit, looks like he’s been hit by a bus one time too many…”

~

He jumps when a cup of tea suddenly appears in front of him, not sure how long he’s been staring at his black screen for. He’s even more weirded out when Merlin sits on his desk, brows furrowed as if he’s pondering a particularly hard puzzle.

“You did good tonight. Debrief won’t be until tomorrow to let Harry shake off the effects of what he’s been given, but I didn’t want to wait before telling you.”

He feels something uncoil at the praise, but Merlin is still looking at him like he’s an enigma to solve.

“You were quick in recognizing something was wrong and you took the necessary actions to ensure our agent would come back in one piece.”

It’s nice to be appreciated, but he can’t help but shrug at that last bit. Bond’s the one who did all the hard work, Eggsy has just made sure they had a somewhat safe way to the taxi waiting for them.

“Harry sounded… wonky.” Compared to how it had been once they had been safe in the taxi, it had been nearly nothing, but Eggsy is more than used to his speech pattern after sitting on so many of his missions. “I’m used to how he talks on missions and that wasn’t it.”

As soon as he says it, he knows he’s said too much and that Merlin understands the implications behind his words. Understands that Eggsy has been New Handler Guy John more often than not lately.

It wouldn’t be incriminating, but Merlin’s a spy and a damn good one at that. Judging by the calculating look in his eyes, he must have put one and one together and realised just how much Eggsy’s has done for them in the last few months. Realised how much knowledge he’s gleaned on them.

It’s innocuous things really, like how Merlin prefers his tea or how Harry likes writing his report with a glass of scotch at hand that he won’t touch until he’s finished his paperwork, but it’s also _intimate_ details.

He cannot have missed what use Eggsy has made of all that information and he’s probably drawing all the right conclusions about what it means.

He’s mortified and dearly wishes for the ground to open up and swallow him whole, but he’s no coward. He’ll face the rejection head held high, won’t let himself be ashamed of his feelings.

Which means he’s looking at Merlin when the other man loses his calculating expression and his eyes become just as warm and fond as when he’s looking at Harry.

“Oh Eggsy…” There’s something husky in the way he says his name, something that makes him shiver pleasantly even if he’s berating himself for misunderstanding this for something it’s most probably not. “Would you come home with me? I’m sure Harry will want to thank you properly after he’s slept it off… And so do I.”

There’s no mistaking _that_ invitation and Eggsy nearly takes the hand Merlin offers him after standing up without questions. But, if he knows what he wants it to be, he’s not sure about Merlin, and certainly not about Harry.

“Is it… Is it just for tonight?”

“For as long as you want.” He’s never seen Merlin so sincere before and it takes the breath away from him.

And really, now’s not the time to have that talk, but that doesn’t stop Eggsy from smiling shyly when he answers what wasn’t really a question.

“That would be a very long time.”

“Good. Let’s go now. Harry’s bound to whine if he’s left alone too long.

And just like that, Merlin takes his hand and Eggsy follows him home.


End file.
